Curse You

Awhile back, Jesse and I got into a minor argument about whatever and in the middle of it I used the word "fucking" (in front of his children) in my conversation and he said "watch your mouth" and then I said, "Fuck You". Because I'm not a child and I'm not going to be spoken to like I'm child. And I don't need anyone schooling me on my language or my behavior. Further, before the last argument we kind of got into it about his children's language..they're constantly saying words like stupid, ugly, fat, retarded, and shut up. I can't stand those words, even for myself, but especially coming out of a child's mouth who doesn't understand the impact of those words. He thinks it's A-Okay for them to say that kind of stuff and then countered that we let Jared say "ass and shit". And that's true. Jennifer DOES let him say those words...in SONGS! Linkin Park, Fergie, etc. Would I particularly like for Jared to say them? No. But I can't say no after his MOTHER has already said yes. Further, I don't think those words are anywhere near as bad as those other ones that are direct insults to someone. I don't understand the weight we put into curse words.

So, even though I expressed my issue with the above words, my issue is of no concern to Jesse. My opinion matters not at all. And fine, whatever, they're not my kids so I don't really care all that much-I just have to remind Jared every day that he's not allowed to follow suit.

But what really drives me crazy is that it was SOO wrong for me to say the words "Fuck You" to Jesse, yet he can't see how he says "fuck you" to me all the time with his actions. Like, I might SAY the words but I don't do the kind of shit he does. I asked him to do TWO things while I am not there. Keep it clean and take Jared to get a better haircut before he went back to school. I had taken him to get a haircut because his friends were saying he looked like a girl and it upset him, but the haircut we got ended up looking worse-like a little bob. So, while he was on Spring Break and I had to go, I asked Jesse to do that for me. Kind of like how, you know, I cook meals for his children and wash their dirty clothes and clean their room, blah blah. Anyway, I called him the other day and he never did it. He said my mom said my sister was going to do it on the weekend. Well, I told him to just go get him on the weekend himself because they so suck at following through. I called him again, during the school week and he still HAD NOT done it. Wtf, right? He said Jared said they were going to take him. Jared is nine. Who lets a nine year old make those decisions? I mean...I just don't even understand that. At all. And his reason wasn't even really that but was really, "I didn't have time". It was easier for him to just believe my mom and sister were going to do it even though I SPECIFICALLY told him to just go over there and tell them not to worry about and that he would do it. And he had no words of apology or regret or shit. Just all freaking nonchalant even though I said it was A BIG DEAL because I didn't want Jared to feel bad for getting made fun of.

And ao I'm like, FUCKING HELLO. This is what I mean when I say you tell me fuck you all the time. Right there! How are you going to tell me that you didn't have time? I asked about it almost 2 weeks ago. That's when you do what you do to MAKE THE TIME. That's not a reason! Are you serious?

You tell me fuck you very much, Katherine, when you

1. Ignore me
2. Wait 2 months to bring up all the things I did wrong in those 2 months and blast with me it in an argument about YOU
3. Act like my issues are unimportant
4. Get mad when I'M the one who's mad
5. Can NEVER let me be right

I'm not in a bad mood...but don't you agree? Don't you think people say fuck you all the time without saying the words? What's worse? A quick fuck you in an anger that quickly abates or a constant disregard for all of the above and more?